It is February, the month of cupid, chocolate and love. We throw that word around quite often. I love cookies, I love chocolate, I love football, I love my dog. What does that mean? What is love anyway? Is it simply an adjective to describe something we really really like? Or is love an action? I believe love is a choice, an action. I also believe love can be a state of mind. Are your decisions and choices rooted from a place of love or a place of fear?
Recently, like all families during the holidays we had some family drama (who doesn’t) and it resulted in some hurt feelings. I watched many of my family members approach the circumstance and focus on who was “right”. They would justify their actions. Make the other person wrong so that they could be right. So they could be the winner. Long ago I read a quote that has served me well. “The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.” ~Joseph Joubert. As I have gotten older I have realized that even more important than progress is to get to a place of love. A feeling of love. It didn’t matter to me who was “right” or “wrong” as that is all perception anyway. I wanted to heal the relationship and get back to a place of love. Their desire to be “right” is based on fear that if they are not right they are wrong. Too many people think it is black or white and fail to see the shades of grey. Is it possible to BOTH be right? That from my perspective I am right and from your perspective you are right? I think it is.
So, how does this pertain to dogs? And dog training? When I train my dog I love my dog. Teaching them to live happily in my human world is an act of love. So many people love their dog but fail to give them the skills they need to function in our world. They think that training will ‘break’ their spirit. If you do it right you won’t break their spirit. You will, in fact, make them happier. They will know what you want and how to behave which gives them more freedom. Everyone welcomes a well behaved dog. It’s the impulsive dog who jumps on people, steals food, and destroys possessions that no one wants around.
So, how do you train a dog based from a place of love? You are patient, clear, and show them what you DO want them to do. You teach them to think on their own instead of micro-managing their every choice. You work in small steps and build on success instead of expecting them to get it right the first time or read your mind about what to do. When you do this you will not only have a well behaved dog but also a dog who loves you in return.
Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.
~Gandhi
We have a lot of power over our dogs. Let’s make sure that it is based on love and not fear.
Your dog is speaking, are you listening?
Jennifer
So, how does this pertain to dogs? And dog training? When I train my dog I love my dog. Teaching them to live happily in my human world is an act of love. So many people love their dog but fail to give them the skills they need to function in our world. They think that training will ‘break’ their spirit. If you do it right you won’t break their spirit. You will, in fact, make them happier. They will know what you want and how to behave which gives them more freedom. Everyone welcomes a well behaved dog. It’s the impulsive dog who jumps on people, steals food, and destroys possessions that no one wants around.
So, how do you train a dog based from a place of love? You are patient, clear, and show them what you DO want them to do. You teach them to think on their own instead of micro-managing their every choice. You work in small steps and build on success instead of expecting them to get it right the first time or read your mind about what to do. When you do this you will not only have a well behaved dog but also a dog who loves you in return.
Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.
~Gandhi
We have a lot of power over our dogs. Let’s make sure that it is based on love and not fear.
Your dog is speaking, are you listening?
Jennifer
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